


Invisible Li(n)es

by milotic



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AU, Multi, Mystery, Supernatural Elements, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:58:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milotic/pseuds/milotic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We understand how dangerous a mask can be. We all become what we pretend to be." --Patrick Rothfuss</p><p>Everyone tells lies. It's not a big deal if nobody gets hurt, right? Sora does the same thing-only to let it get out of hand. With him being unable to distinguish between the truth and the deception he's spouted, events start to unravel at the very things Sora's hiding.</p><p>(AU; various ships; rated M for eventual chapters; ON HIATUS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

I'm not the type to regret things. My motto: live fast and enjoy things while they last—make every second count. You wouldn't think a guy like me would have a care for the past; you can't be hung up on stupid mistakes. At least, that's the mindset I had befor—

_Fingers failing to move the pen a letter more, the tip had ceased moving on the paper, which was shortly crumbled after. All the while, the author opted to leave his initial draft from being seen. Then came the obnoxious tearing of another paper that filled half the classroom, which caught the eyes of his neighbors._

And here is where I would offer some seemingly wise quote, only to have it contrast it to my situation at hand. Sorry, I'm outta stock of "picture-frame quotes"—check back next Thursday; in the meanwhile, help yourself to the new shipment of sarcastic quips I've to offer you. Due to an old coot making something so dull and pointless that was originally intended as extra-credit now a mandatory assignment, the shipment of witty remarks just won't stop coming, folks! Get them in unlimited stock for the simple price of allowing me to pass this paper with so many flying colors, it would put the leaders of a gay pride parade to shame.

I call upon you, dear readers, to help me get a decent grade as I try to pass this godforsaken class that I know will prove to be totally and completely worthless in my life. So readers—Riku and Kairi—I believe it's only fair that you do me this favor after I have saved you both plenty a time and occasion.

So sign at the signatures below, and our little deal will be made legit and certifiable.

_Even among passed hesitant glances from both of his childhood friends as they read his offer on the lined paper, that cheeky smirk of the brune's had yet to cease. It absolutely couldn't falter. Though it was a skill he had, at this point, mastered to perfection; and as such, it was a grand help to assure people (as well as himself) that things were alright (even when they could be far from it)._

While my friends have long accustomed to this slightly snarky side of me, it would make some of the people around me gape with open mouths if they heard me make remarks like in the note I passed to Riku and Kairi. Why? I honestly can't answer that; maybe it's the fact that they always expect me to be static and act the same ever since I was 14 and forever stay optimistic and plucky. If anything, that's just a front I put on to get by (it isn't that hard parading as something else). Kairi and Riku can sense something is off whenever I do this, and I just pass them a glance as if to say, "It's just for show." I'm not complaining by any means though—it's a benefit for both me and the people that don't know me. Plus, it wasn't a complete sham. There were times when I could be genuine.

However, it's not only strangers that I restrain myself in front of. Even in front of my close friends, there were some things that I wouldn't let slip out. Wearing masks isn't all that hard: you just slip it on right before your audience takes note and have at it. So what difference would a couple of different faces be? After all, didn't I have a right to keep some things to myself? Everyone has more than their fair share of secrets that they would like to keep under lock and key.

In my case, I was almost careless enough to let it slip away in that first draft—I had no idea what I was doing. It felt natural to talk to my friends about my past, even if I didn't realize that I was opening up about a secret that would totally wreck my relationship with these people. While being "normal" wasn't a task too difficult, having a problem of that caliber and trying to fix it took more than a simple apology or explanation. I doubt they would take mine in prison. I honestly don't know what to do if people knew what I was really like. While I put on many faces, seeing Riku's and Kairi's react to my secret are ones I'd prefer never to see.

So that's why I'm totally fine. Pretending and lying—it's not all that bad if it's to protect yourself, right?

> A/N: First Kingdom Hearts fic, as well as the first on this account! Ah, I'm so excited! This is only a prologue obviously, but it hints only at a miniscule amount of things that are to come! Any kind of positive feedback are well appreciated! Thank you in advance for taking the time to read! uwu


	2. Masquerade

Regardless of the many fronts I put up, there was one thing that would forever remain true: the undeniable and resolute fact that I downright despised English. When has there ever been a life-or-death situation in which I would have to analyze the "role" of all of the characters in a story to keep my head attached to my neck? It's pointless. Though personally, I think it's mainly the teacher I can't stand—and you know the type: the one that makes you detest the whole subject in general. Sure, maybe if I had gotten that young and fresh out of college babe to talk about rhetoric, I wouldn't mind as much. However, I was fine with arguing with the Devil's advocate; I made it my personal mission to make this woman's life hell. After all, no one could explain how the instructor could loathe a student that receives high marks consistently and gets nothing but the best of praise from the rest of the faculty—that's my little secret.

Point being, she couldn't stand me and I her. A person's tone can reveal more about them than you would think. Muscles always went stiff when she was near, and there was this stench that lingered about whenever she was close, and her lack of personal hygiene aside, her snide little comments were the things that made me want to slip a careless foot right in front of her. They were always subtle little remarks with pretense faces that made me want to take a vow to never lie again—not if it meant (essentially) doing the same thing she did.

Needless to say, my eyes never moved from the lower right-hand corner that displayed the time on the television screen.

Seven minutes and counting..and then my weekend would begin.

I tried to do the math in my head: how much longer would I have to put up with this hag? The first semester was near its end, so four more months was in store for me.

The thought made my stomach squirm uneasily.

"Sora."

Hearing my name, I chanced a look to the right, seeing that one of my friends was just as ready to go home as I was. He and I exchanged mutual looks of wanting to storm out of this godforsaken classroom and away from this lunatic. Apart from having a common enemy, I've known the guy almost my whole time living here in Traverse Town. We hit it off when I was new to the school. He, along with Kairi, made my transition here much more smoother. Apparently, they had both came from Destiny Islands. Months after I had moved, there had been a toxic waste spill that managed to get into the water plants. I'm not sure of all of the details, but to sum it all up, that place is a ghost town now, save for the native islands that refuse to leave. Majority of the folk there went here (as it's a more lively city), but I heard of a couple of people going the opposite way to Twilight Town.

Despite our humble beginnings, I could never let them on about who I truly was. And as we grew up, there was more distance between the each of us that made things harder to express. I kept the truth hostage and comfortably buried it in a 10-meter pit. Each time we interacted, I was consequently trying to crack the DaVinci code in my head while Riku was being led astray by the plucky grin I wore often around my friends. I'll admit—I thought he would get sharper over time to pick up on it a little (hey, maybe I even hoped for him to get that something was wrong); but then again, I didn't expect to be living a lie to my best friend either.

"Yo, Sora—you okay?"

Though even lies weren't completely perfect.

"Uh..uh, yeah. I..think I fell asleep with my eyes open.."

Cue the haughty scoff that would make way for that 'How are you 18 years old and still manage to act like you're 14—God only knows' glance. This was a look that had stayed (and probably would stay) with him as long as I was around.

"That's hardly surprising—though I guess it's a good indicator of your morale."

"My morale?" He sounded bizarre when he phrased it like that. "Don't tell me you've been keeping tabs on me like Roxas does?"

"As if. You aren't worth the time and effort."

"God forbid I be too dull for his Majesty." An eyeroll showed my utmost sincerity. "Though did you hear anything from Roxas?"

"What do you mean? Shouldn't you know what's going on?"

"Just because we live together doesn't mean I get access to what's going on inside his head. Guy still acts like a total stranger to me."

My questionable relationship with Roxas never failed to amuse Riku. He definitely got satisfaction from being filled in on my estranged filial relationship. Though for now, there wasn't any snarky comment to be found. It took half a minute of silence for me to pick up on it.

"I've got it. The miracle solution is—"

"Riku, perhaps you would like to inform the rest of the class of this stupendous remedy you've found?" The voice boomed from behind us; though all I heard was pig yelps and shrieks coming from her mouth. Even then, there was no denying that Riku's face was one that needed to be enlarged, printed, framed, and hung up on a bulletin for the whole city to see. I couldn't hog all of the mirth—I'm a charitable guy.

"I'd..rather not, ma'am."

"Shame. I was so forward to seeing it could cure my classroom of the echoes of what sounds like you and your buddy's voices just bouncing off of the walls. Because I manage to hear it in class all the time."

Respectively, there were matching looks of disgust when she turned her back to us.

Being released liberated my body and soul—the weight was gone and Friday had finally came. My conversation with Riku picked up where it left off after we had passed the southern gates of the school.

"Why don't you just talk to Roxas? It's not like you're scared to approach him, right?" He looked at me like that was the first thing I should have done in the first place. As if.

"No, I'm not scared to talk to him—"

"Then what's stopping you? The guy's your brother—technically."

That's only the same question I've been asking myself for three years. Better late than never, Riku. "It's nothing big, so don't worry about it. Do you at least know where he went?

"Doesn't he typically go to that ice cream shop on Fridays?"

"I just told you I don't even know the guy that's staying in my house—why would I know where he goes afterschool?"

"Hell if I know, Sora. Fix your family drama and I'll come over later." Turning tail, he was already off in the other direction. I voiced aloud that I didn't recall inviting him over in the first place; he was some distance away, but definitely within earshot and feigned. I knew he could hear—he was just acting like he couldn't.

Even if I went home in that moment, Roxas would continue to agitate my mind and put me in a funk. Going along with Riku's clue, I made way to the outskirts of town to find that shop. It was impossible to miss: the word 'Briskee's' was blatantly lit up for the whole suburbs to see with a neon white so bright it could almost blind someone; the exception was the 'i', which was actually an ice-cream cone with an ultramarine swirl on top, glazed and all (who would ever want to eat blue ice cream?). It stood on a corner of a residential street, so it was bound to have a continuous flow of clients, though not one of the included the blond I was looking for. As I got closer, I realized that the head of hair that I almost mistook for a flying crimson fern was the worker himself, and possibly another thing that would draw in customers. His name was Alex. Alexis. Maybe Alek?

"Hey Alexius." If I didn't try, I would never succeed.

"Look, kid," The lanky but limber body had to crouch within the shop (which looked more like the inside of a freezer) because of his beanstalk stature. "I'm even wearing a name tag today because I knew you would fail again. It's not that difficult. Axel: A-X-E-L."

"Okay, Alicia." It was always fun to tease him, even if he was a walking tower. He didn't have any customers at the time, so I felt more than free to harass the ice cream man. "Hey, has my...has Roxas been here yet?"

"Blondie?" Pursing his lips as he mused momentarily, a nod then came. "Yeah, he stopped by for a bit to chat me up. Why do you ask?"

I couldn't tell him what was really going on. "Ma just wanted both of us home for something and he isn't picking up his phone."

"Personally, I don't care for such lame excuses; but whatever, if you feel the need to lie, that's on you." Exhaustion wore at his glabella to form folds in between his eyebrows. Already, I could see his true age start to show in those wide creases that stretched across his forehead. "I saw him turn right, ice cream in hand. Now buy something."

"What? Why should I?"

"I gave you the info you asked for. There's a price for items even beyond the typical stock—don't let the uniform fool you—I'm a man of all trades."

I complied. I had no choice. This guy was one that would hound and haunt someone until the farthest reaches of the Earth, through time and space, and follow them into the afterlife to get his exact payment. So out went 450 munny for a triple-scoop of key lime with that weird cerulean flavor in the middle. In the very least, Axel's price wasn't all that bad for what I got.

Following his advice, I found that he was telling the truth—but I didn't like it. Roxas had his back facing me, but the man in front of him was the source of my discomfort. It only took a single glance for me to feel that I wouldn't like this guy. Everything about him just made me uncomfortable—like I was wearing a suit full of live mosquitos. There was that inexplicable itch that would need the sharpest of claws to carve at, because I couldn't reach it. It wasn't so much about his looks or the things he wore. His face alone was enough to trigger that sole churn in my gut that I knew well enough to distinguish that he was to be avoided.

_A chuckle—directed at me—is that a challenge?_

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who took note of this; Roxas inquired about it, though I turned tail before he shifted to see what that man was staring down. What a freak. My retreat was hardly at all welcomed when I came across the shopkeeper again

"Ooh, did you strike out there, tiger?"

"Wow, Watson, I'm so surprised you can see through my façade. And here I was thinking you couldn't read my face. Though next time, do note that my face isn't an open invitation for you to comment." I could have done without his words, especially when it came from someone who looked like a potential pedophile (and that work attire didn't do him any justice).

I soon figured that even if I didn't want to talk to him, I had to. That man was too suspicious to be lingering around in a neighborhood like this. Axel would have seen anyone so creepy go through, right? "Since you have the best detective skills around, mind telling me why there's a junkie around here who looks like his hair job went bad? Maybe you could refer your stylist to him."

"Uh-oh, he's getting feisty folks." Despite the fact the grown man before me was mocking a microphone with a waffle cone, it seemed that Riku wasn't alone in terms of: being a sadist and taking pleasure from my misfortune; and acting a fool at the most inopportune time.

"Have you got anything important to say or do you just like hearing yourself talk?" Opting to scale down on my tone a little, I took my place on top of the counter, only to be pushed off by a freakishly large hand.

"You're not wiping your ass on this surface that was just Clorox'd before you showed up." With a huff, a wet-wipe quickly scrubbed the spot where my buttocks sat. "Anyway, you're probably talking about one of Hollow Bastions infamous creeps—would you believe me if I said it was like they had their own organization?"

Under my breath, there were words that more or less uttered that Axel would fit right in, but the sharp glare he shot me was proof he caught every word. Not to mention I could hear the faint whisper of "You little shit." trail under his breath.

"I'll still need more details about said freakshow. You have every kind imaginable in this town." Axel spoke as if he knew these individuals personally.

Pausing a moment to recollect, I let the words fall out of my mouth: "He was bizarre from the start. The man had this pastel blue hair and I saw a weird mark on his face—though I was too far to make it out. I don't know which was eerier: the fact that he was talking to Roxas as if he knew him or the smirk he gave me. I swear, I was this close to saying something-"

"Wait, he was with Roxas?"

There had been a visible change in his demeanor. Those words alone clearly showed what was on his mind, and his face painted me a picture as to what he felt. Honestly, you think a grown man would do better to guard against himself—anybody could see that he was now distracted; it led me to wonder: what exactly did he feel for Roxas? Why? And how?

Maybe I was jealous. After all, if a complete stranger can have more emotions for someone than that own person's brother, then are they really suited to be family in the first place? I know it's not a position one willingly chooses, but I did. There's always been my share of regrets and shame hovering over me of how thankless I had been. Asking for someone like Roxas was what I yearned for day and night (which sometimes I even prayed for good luck). So what right do I have (if any) to suddenly resend that wish? What I asked for had been granted, hadn't it?

So how did I manage to royally screw both of us over to the point where we say less than 10 words a day to each other? That's less than that previous sentence. We don't interact whatsoever. We are both independent and take care of our own affairs. It was scarily bizarre how akin we were; so I guess in that sense, anyone who could tolerate me at home had a well-toned patience, even though Roxas was better off than I.

The only thing I could do was keep an eye on him from afar and act only if there was no other w ay. He didn't ask for me in his like so I'll ignore my "wish" and do what's best in his favor. However, I wasn't the only one who had this kind of mindset.

"You definitely didn't mention Roxas before." Axel looked as if he was to scold me any second now. I would have to ask him about Roxas at a later time. Once more, his face reflected what he was thinking, and even I could see he eventually realized I didn't mean to omit Roxas on purpose—I was going to get to that part eventually.

"Who is he, Axel?" His reaction told me he knew the bizarre man; and he only found it paramount to response when Roxas was mentioned.

"His name is Saïx, and that's all you're getting today. Well, that, and you had best stay away from him." It wasn't like him to be so vague. Unless he was going to pull some "salesman" BS any second now; so what was stopping him? Roxas was important to him, wasn't he?

Even if I had to burn out his last nerve, I would pry out the answers one way or another, and that included going to some extents to get them. "You clearly know this man and what he's capable of. You sure you want him to linger around Roxas? Do you honestly just not care or is that your horrible attempt at being flippant?"

It was possible, even after three years, for me to surprise myself. Axel was no different in terms of reactions. Over the course of the years, this kind of thing had been more frequent. Naturally, I did my best to repress that particular facet of mine. Sometimes, it occasionally slipped out; when it did, I realized that I got edgier and I was dangerously close to severing a relationship I had with someone.

For a moment, Axel was blank. Not a word, so apparently my own were enough to shut him up. However, that would last (as I soon found out). "He won't do anything to Roxas—that's my word."

I thanked my previous self for choosing to wear a hoodie, as it hid the really peculiar goosebumps I got when he said that. He kept continuing to surprise me. Just a minute ago, he was shook up, only to bounce right back. He had tenacity; I had to give him that.

"Look," The thin and flimsy streaks of auburn hung down the sides of his face when he shifted closer to speak. From his hushed tone, he was aware that Saïx was within earshot. "You're right to be careful of him. I'm not going to tell you what he did—"

"Not that I was asking." Just had to correct him. Being too curious of him wouldn't aid me at all. All I asked for was his name—the rest I could figure out on my own.

"But I am going to tell you that your intuition is right if it's got you wary. And you're not the only one who dislikes the current scenery; but alas, I am but a mere dairy-dealer, giving sweet frozen treats to people of all ages."

"You're not acting because you sense no danger. That, and the duty of being the ice-cream bearer had you in check."

"Hey, someone's gotta protect this valuable cargo." Said cargo (which went by unpaid) went into his mouth. It was the same peculiar flavor I order earlier, which honestly wasn't all that bad. Salty...but sweet.

There was something in the look Axel gave me that suggested that there was some mutual ground between us, but I was trying to figure out which plane exactly that was. However, I didn't stress about it. It was strangely alleviating and was enough to persuade me into thinking he wasn't lying. I didn't trust him, but I believed he wasn't deceiving me either.

"You got my number?" The question came out so suddenly I didn't pick up on it until a full minute later

"Huh?"

"So we can text?" The man tapped on his Android impatiently. "Roxas gave me yours in case his phone died."

"Oh..no, I don't think I have yours. But why?"

"Why do you think?" Azure eyes flitted to stare me down as a nimble hand took my cell and fingers went to work in putting in his number. "Let the gears in your brain work some, dear Sora."

I went quiet for what seemed like the first time that whole evening. From not talking, I was able to sort out my thoughts and then understand what Axel was trying to say. "You really think things can take a turn for the worse?"

"Better safe than sorry, friend. Though let's hope it doesn't come to that. But I gotta admit, I feel pretty damn sneaky tiptoeing around like this." Cheeky grin in place, the man showed his childish flame to him. Jeez, it took a lot of energy just by talking to him. How does Roxas do it?

"Anyway, about Roxas—"

"What about me?"

The change in voice put me on edge, with relief quickly easing me (somewhat). I stared into my reflection, but lost the contest and had to spin little white threads to keep up my cool. "You didn't pick up your cell. Your pal and I were just wondering where you went."

"I was trying to find Olette's new house, but I got lost. I was supposed to meet with her for an assignment."

"On a Friday?" Snickering aloud, the shopkeeper couldn't restrain himself sometimes. "Please, even I know that's a load of bull."

"What? It's true!"

Even among mock fights and cheeky smiles, I tried not to automatically suspect him. Maybe he really was going to see Olette..

"You mentioned her new house," Axel refused to get off the topic. "But nobody moved by over here.

"Don't be such a smartass."

"I'm serious—this road is the only way into the neighborhood and there has yet to be any kind of vehicle that would fit that occasion."

_Only way in?_

However, Roxas was just as stubborn as his friend and refused to let this go. "You might have looked away at the time she drove in!"

"Doubt it, buddy. Considering the kids of such a tiny community would have noticed it earlier than I. That, and they would have told me all about it. And don't even get me started on how they can talk—"

Somehow, I think Axel might have picked up some of their traits.

Cutting him short, I wanted to get this over with. "What's her address?"

"341 Hydrangea Drive."

"But that's in Southern Shores."

"No, I'm pretty positive that it's in Northern Shores."

"This is Northern Shores!"

"Exactly!"

"No, Roxas, you gotta go to Southern Shores!"

"No, because this is Northern Shores!

"Actually, Sora here is right." Axel really prided himself on making perfect introductions (and re-introductions) "You've always been calling it Southern Shores when it's in fact, the opposite."

Safe to say, Roxas didn't appreciate this any. "Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because I knew it would be worth saving up for a priceless event as such."

Their bicker and mock classic sit-com wrap-up was almost enough to make the night right. How badly I wanted to believe that. The sole thing I would ask for as a gift is ignorance, fully and pure. If I had it, I wouldn't have these suspicions of nearly everyone who passes by me being out to get me or bring me down. It drains me to have to be on my guard constantly while consequently parade with a grin at all times.

My salvation and peace of mind were stolen from me and now the sole things I'm limited to doing are: deceive; despair; and probably end up dying wishing for something so futile. Whether it's this false hope or some unknown masochist inside that I possess that's continuing to make my body move, I'm not sure. Don't be surprised—wearing different faces does not make you omniscient by any means: you have my word on that.

So I live in the present, though my feet are sinking in the steps I took, and the next ones are far too steep for me to climb. Though it's futile, I have no other option. I can't get caught. I can't hint at what I know. I can't give away the slightest piece of information, because it'll be all over then. While I have skill, it's only to lay low for now. I didn't plan on any of this happening: the constant prevaricating around; suspecting people I haven't even met; being wary of my own family (if you could call him that?).

But in the end, it's all a small price I have to pay. I made no progress over these three years: I have a debt to pay, and an obligation to fulfill. Until those two are done, I can't chance anything; so I'll keep lying a little more, I'll continue to stay cautious and I'll wear that smile on my face.

After all, who would ever suspect someone smiling?


	3. Crux

The trek back home was uncomfortable at the very least. The silence between us seemed to stretch on for eons while I laid back and observed my brother trying to slither away from me. I suppose it was to be expected, given that he caught me snooping. From the distance I was at, the scent of suspicion and paranoia lingered from Roxas' body, and all the way to my nostrils, and in turn, made my stomach churn. Then again, that should also be expected of, coming from a brother who was wary of every single action the other did.

When he suddenly stopped, I nearly ran into him. My mind was set on going home, and having a chat stall us made time feel endless. I could tell he was hesitant to even ask me questions in the first place. So what's pushing his buttons?

"Sora."

"Si."

"I want you to be honest with me when I ask you this, okay?"

"I've got nothing to hide, brother."

Reluctantly, he nodded, as if he needed a minute to take in my words. "Good. Then you'll be truthful when I ask you what you were doing near the Shores then?"

If I were to be truthful, he would only get upset, so the only other option was to feign honesty. "It's like I told Axel: mom told me to get you."

"What for?"

 _It's a Friday. She always gets her paychecks today._ "So we could order take-out. Didn't know what you wanted."

"And you couldn't have texted me because…?"

I snorted to his simple response. "Because your phone is practically useless if it's dead every time you go out."

The small nods of _'Okay, his story adds up so far…'_ told me that I was in the clear for now. Of course, Roxas had yet to notice that he had certain quirks he did when he did particular actions. His incessant nodding was one of these things.

"Alright then, that seems plausible. But why were you so interested in the man I was speaking with?"

"Who?" It was better to act the fool than the man who knew too much.

"Don't play coy, Sora. Axel spilled. By the way, he sends his regards on how unbelievably easy you were to dupe. C'mon, where did you think the man's loyalties lie?"

If that was the case, I would have my payback on that freak, though it would have to wait. At the present, I was sure I would have my hands full with Roxas. "Alright, alright, I give—I was snooping. I wasn't planned, to be honest."

"Given your track record, "honesty" coming from you is pretty rich."

"Do you always see me in that kind of light? Like I'm always trying to gain the upper hand all the time?"

"Hm, not always but most of the time, yeah, since I can't trust you."

"Ouch, Rox. I didn't want the brutal truth. Spare a brother, would ya?"

"You'll live. Now c'mon." I felt a rough pat to my shoulder in his shitty attempt to reroute my thoughts. "I'm starving."

However, that still didn't remedy anything. " _And?_ "

" _And_ hurry your ass up so we can eat already!"

"Yanno, Roxas, it's high time you came out with your own secrets. I can only imagine the load you must be carrying." If he wasn't going to come out of his own accord, then I had to lure him into it.

"Screw off, Sora." He was starting to get agitated now—which was my goal. Roxas often spoke what was truly on his mind when he got upset. In this case, I was hoping he would shed some light on himself and what he had been up to. Hell, he might even spill about that Saïx guy.

"Who was that man you were with then? And why did Axel make such a big deal out of him?"

"It isn't any of your business who I was talking to."

"Why not? You got a dirty, little secret for me to unwrap, Rox?"

"No! And quit calling me that!" My eyes caught the veins that popped to life on the temples on his temples. At times, I wondered if I made up the things I saw. It all just seemed so predictable—at least in my perspective.

I _knew_ Roxas had been hiding something, and that when I would eventually confront him about it, he would take it none too well—as he had then. It's not that I have been secretly honing myself to become a psychic—that whole hoo-doo jazz creeps me out. No, what I mean to say is that I had only a gut feeling about these kinds of things. I suppose you could say it's like an amplified intuition of some kind. That said, if I had said sense, then I would have naturally heeded this warning, right? Well then, you have a lot to learn about me.

"So, you're not going to tell me who Saïx is?"

"Go to hell!"

"I'll take that as a 'try again later'." I knew I had to reconcile with my brother eventually, even if I didn't understand why I was particularly at fault. After all, I was just trying to look out for him—what was so wrong about that? What specifically was he keeping tucked under his feathers and why? God forbid the prince of the castle be upset—the kingdom would be in a total state of panic. God forbid someone asks a couple of personal questions—but his reaction only piqued my interest to dig up what he was up to. In that moment, I even started to scheme of various ways I could exploit the truth; but all of that came to a screeching halt when I saw the Hummer towering adjacent to my foster mom's puny Chevrolet. It was weird for _him_ to show up out of the blue. What impeccable timing.

The natural heir to the throne made his dramatic entrance seconds ahead of me. Roxas was a hurricane that tumbled on in the front door, leaving a wake of confusion in its path. Said confusion affected two victims (excluding me): my foster mother, Catherine, and my adoption counselor, Zack Fair. The mother, playing her role, tended to the disgruntled, angsty teen who secluded himself in his room. Feigning ignorance to the other players, I expressed the notion that I had no idea or any involvement of Roxas' current state.

But enough of that. It's high time I told you a little about Zack, as he was heavily involved in my past. I'll give you the 30-second preview version: He, who was akin to me in terms of our origin, also grew up in an orphanage. Maybe he pitied me, or saw a bit of him in me, or even is a saint—who knows what his motives were back then—but he took me on as his own. I wasn't necessarily his favourite out of the lot, because there were those who was grade-A material to get adopted, and by that, I mean they just had the full package: calm temperament; charming and/or adorable looks; fondness of people; and the ability to _sell_ themselves. Granted, that may have not been going through their minds, but it sure seemed that way to me. Years went on, and I simply stayed at the orphanage, as I had no place to go. Did I think of running away? All the time. I even managed to pull it off, but only until Zack caught me—he always did. So like gum to his boot, I was stuck. Maybe it was the other way around. Who knows. Eventually, at 15, I was adopted by Roxas' mother. Zack was overjoyed, and I guess that made me happy too. He took care of the transition, and even stops by time to time to see how I'm adjusting. It's been three years since then, but we've known each other so long that we're bound to continue meeting in the future.

As for Zack specifically, he knew more about me than I did him, and it bothered me. I was only able to piece together some information from what he let on about his personal life, but aside from that, he didn't speak much of his childhood. The only thing I was certain of was that he was originally from the mountains. Even after the amount of time I knew him, there was always something new I found out (by chance) that puzzled me. It was surprising because despite being the person I knew the longest, I felt at times, that I didn't know him at all. I always craved his secret—how he managed to keep it all under wraps. I envied him, and consequently, I wished to learn from him. He has such a tight lock on whatever it is he was hiding, and all the while, he managed to walk in the light and not look back. I wish I could do the same.

"What's up with your brother, Sora?" Catherine—my foster mother—inquired. She took me in, though some would call her motive for adopting me extremely selfish, and even absurd. I wanted to feel some kind of emotional attachment to her, but it never happened. Not three years ago, and not now.

"Dunno. When I asked, he just stormed off, so I am just as clueless as you are, Mom." There were so many lies embedded into that sentence, but it was all the more proof that I was like a grand female arachnid (because the males always get eaten), spinning these white lies. Of course, they were nothing by themselves, but string by string, they would make up the web soon enough.

"Really? Seemed like you were the plague to him." Ever the observant one, Zack was quick to pick up on things.

"Knowing him, he probably thinks I am." I shrugged, but it was false. I didn't know him at all. "But what are you doing, sniffing around here?"

I heard a quick huff from Catherine in response. "Sora, show some respe-"

"Ms. Hardt, it's fine—Sora's like a brother, so I'll tolerate his unruliness. As long as you allow me to get my due vengeance back on him."

"Nothing too extreme now. You two catch up; I want to go check up on Roxas. And I don't want my table broken again!" For such a small woman, she had a voice to her. Her dainty footsteps made their way upstairs, leaving me and Zack alone in the salon. Before I even saw it coming, a quick hand slapped the back of my neck, leaving the skin screaming in burning agony.

"Ow! What the hell, Zack?!"

His cheeky grin answered my question silently. "Payback, Sora. You will never be able to one-up me at that game. 'Sniffing around'? Is that any way to show homage to the man who practically raised you?"

"Whatever man," I shook my head, dismissing his grandiose demand. "So, really, what's up?"

"I had some time to kill so I thought I would check up on you."

"I'm pretty sure it's the other way around nowadays."

"Oh?" Echoing chuckles filled the room. "Is that so?"

"Of course. You're not getting any younger, man."

"Sora, I'm so hurt." A gloved hand clutched his breast in "agony". "I practically raised you, and here you are, calling me 'gramps' to my face."

"Grow up. I have something to tell you."

Perfect pearly whites straightened into a smile. "How did I know I would come to some revelation by you tonight?"

"Shut up, you didn't know." I sneered at him, and saw how the spiked ends of his jet-black hair were as sharp as his ego. "Anyway, I can't talk about it here. Call me in two days and I'll tell you in person."

"Is it serious?"

"Mn…I'm not sure as of now."

"Well, decide now."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Sora," A huff (it seemed that was a common response from those near me) blew out from Zack's lips, timing perfectly with his hand streaking through his hair. "You're lucky I have a soft spot for you. I'll give you 'til tomorrow."

"Sure. I'll text you. So you can run along now, and go play _Angry Bird_ in your cubicle now."

"Y'know, my record's 25." Zack proudly boasted.

"Bull."

"Sora-" The sharp chirp made me cringe, and I swear I saw a like reaction from Zack's body. Catherine's petite feet danced down the carpeted stairs. "Go bring some tea to your brother's room. He's not feeling too well. As for you, Mr. Fair, I'm afraid it's getting late, but you're more than welcome to visit Sora another time. And teach him some mannerisms along the way."

"Of course, Ms. Hardt. I wouldn't miss such an opportunity." I wanted to use that tea to wash off Zack's smug look, but of course, I remained composed. I had a lot to learn from him, after all. I knew that I would get my due payback in time.

Post Zack's departure, I was left alone with Catherine in the living room. It was always very strained whenever either of us tried to speak to each other. I tried my best to act what you would call "normal" and interact with her—but it was just far too boring for me. It was a tireless cycle that tired me. Whatever she came up with, it wasn't anything original or unique. School, work, or life at home. Would it kill her to actually try to have an interesting conversation with me? I rummaged over these thoughts while I boiled water in the teakettle, impatiently waiting for the first of bubbles to pop. To pass the time, I fiddled around with social media, praying the mother wouldn't try to strike up yet another dull conversation. I managed to send Riku a quick text before the kettle finally whistled, and I crafted the tea swiftly, just so I could escape to the confines of my room.

I placed the tea on the table next to Roxas' room, giving a specific knock to indicate that it was me. "Tea's outside." I don't think I have ever walked down the stairs so fast that I nearly slipped on the carpet. Regardless, I knew I had to just get away from the two of them in that moment—I couldn't think, much less breathe with them around.

I knew I couldn't anything accomplished from my current standstill of a position. I had to find out what exactly Roxas was up to without drawing attention. My only option—sleep.

Or at least, I tried. The clock that then read '2:38 AM' was a reminder that I wasn't going anywhere. I was fully awake, thanks to a house party down the street, and I felt excruciatingly restless. Without reason, my muscles were sore, and my mind couldn't keep still, leaping canyons' gaps across from thought to thought. I estimated that if the party had been going on for at least two hours, then someone (most likely the divorced dad on the corner of the street) would complain to the police about the noise. Still, I didn't want to just sit still and wait for someone to do something. I checked my phone, but still no reply from Riku. Though soon enough, something else would get my attention.

"Yeah, I can hear you."

It was Roxas, but to whom was he speaking to? And why was _he_ up? I stayed silent in order to find out what he was up to. My door was only by a crack, but it was enough to let me eavesdrop on his conversation.

"Yeah, yeah, I considered the deal you offered. Though it's a ridiculous asking price…what? Of course I understand what I would give up—I'm not deaf nor dumb, mind you...alright. Alright! Sheesh, I heard you, gramps."

 _Gramps._ So it's a man that's older than him—by Roxas' definition, it's any man older than him, so that was a broad range and didn't have to necessarily apply to only elderly men. In addition, it didn't sound as if they were on the best of terms. But I was more curious about this deal: what were the conditions and what exactly did Roxas want? And with whom was he offering something? What was he giving up?

"Ok sure, I'll meet you. Across from the florist on Spring Avenue okay? What, you want me to plan our rendezvous at some creepy motel? I think I'll pass. Fi-yes, I'll be prompt. Three. Okay. Okay, bye." Roxas finished his call with a single huff—he was either frustrated or anxious or both. I didn't know. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became with both myself and Roxas. Why couldn't he just tell me what was going on? What could force him to practically push me away every chance he got and keep his life a huge secret from me? Wasn't he the one who wanted a brother in the first place?

In my thought process, I was too far gone to notice that my secret eavesdropping wasn't all that secret. Roxas' footsteps alerted me of him being aware of something stirring in the house. It would be too risky if I tried to slither back into my room and play possum in my bed. Naturally, I settled for the next best thing.

"Who's there?" He took the bait.

"Roxas?"

"Sora? Why are you up?"

"To get the last Coke before Mom took it. You?" I closed the fridge door, thanking my luck that my room was only mere steps away from the kitchen.

"Couldn't sleep. But you're seriously gonna down a can of caffeine to help you sleep?"

 _You don't see me questioning you about your shady calls and 'rendezvouses'._ "You're the one with sleeping troubles, not me."

"So the Coke just beckoned you to wake up now?"

"Is that a problem?"

""I'd say you were lying out of your ass."

"Touchy today, aren't we?"

"Only because you don't give me any breathing room, Sora!"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you've been on my case for a while and it's really just…pissing me off!"

"Oh shut up! Not everything is centered around you!" I felt the urge to throw the stupid can in his face. "Yanno what? You want your breathing space? Fine." I retreated to my room to only put on pants and grab my cell before heading out. If he wanted some room, then so be it. He certainly didn't question it, and I didn't need any qualms about doing whatever I wanted to do in my spare time.

Who said I had to protect him in the first place? If he didn't want it, then he could fuck off—he could act self-worthy in his own time without me. I had no obligation to care for him, so I was going to start thinking about myself for a change. My two feet would soon take me outside my apartment complex, beyond my neighbourhood, and then on the main street. Truth be told, I had no clue where I was going, and relied on my gut alone to guide me. In time, I began to succumb to the fact that I was alone. I knew that that it would continue to hold true for most of my life, but it was difficult to deal with then. Who could I turn to?

In that silence of my mind, it really scared me that I couldn't think of a single soul to save me. I felt myself crumbling, and the tape and glue I was using to hold myself up was shambling down like a tower of cards. I was always flip-flopping between two sides of myself: one who had to lock everything away into this miniscule, crumbled up ball, and then there's this shell of me who can't even talk to his mother to save his life, let alone warn her of what her son is up to. I wasn't solid. There was a gap in between that locked core and the puny casing surrounding it—there was that huge chunk of fleshy material missing to protect the core. That material, I realized, had to come from my own lies. I had to spin my own fortress of lies, and make it impenetrable, so that _no one_ could get in. Right then, the front doors were wide open, leaving me vulnerable. Had I stayed with Roxas a second longer, I would have cracked. I was a poor and pitiful soul, and fell deeper and deeper into my own darkness.

Interrupting my spiral downwards was a familiar ringtone—one I chose for him specifically. It brought me consequent anxiety and relief to see my friend's name pop up on the screen. I battled with myself over whether to answer it. To pick up would be to risk my weakness being revealed, but I knew I could maintain some composure. However, to not pick up would be to just wallow in my self-despairing state, and the first option was sounding all the more ideal.

"Hello?"

"Hey, man, you said we needed to talk?"

_Talk about timing._

"Sora?"

"Yeah?"

"You...alright?"

I don't know what possessed me, but I laughed in that moment. I guess it was an inside joke exclusive to me. "I have no clue, Riku. Not one."

"Sora, stop fucking around."

I had nothing in response to say. I knew Riku wasn't one to start fights with, because once he got going, there was no stopping him. I knew from experience that he was a man you'd rather not have opposing you.

"Sora?"

"I'm here."

"Where are you?"

"Not at home."

"For the love of Christ, speak more than five syllables."

"Spring Avenue. Sir."

"Don't do anything stupid."

_Your timing's awful, Riku._

Once he finally tracked me down (my cerulean parka was practically a highlighter in the snow), I got into his car without comment, and not a single word passed from our mouths. I suppose he _did_ know me, to some extent. He knew that my lips were sealed and that the only way for anything to get out was if I was able to confide in him—something I showed him. By me being silent, I was demonstrating that I didn't trust Riku, despite him helping me out in that moment. I hadn't even recognized this until as of that moment, and I felt a sharp pang of guilt. He was doing this out of goodwill—a friend helping a friend; though the person who he aided never reciprocated his feelings. What a fucking asshole.

_Would be it that bad if I decided to start trusting him?_

His house was considerably smaller than mine, but that was probably because he didn't have to live with a little shit of a brother. From what Riku told me, his dad worked late shifts, and his mom worked in the early hours of the morning. Occasionally they met up for lunch, but often times, they were either working or sleeping. Such was the case then, when the whole house was silent. Riku announced that we had the house to ourselves, as both of them were on a tight push to finish their projects at their works. Because of this, Riku was independent most of the time. The funny thing was that their family managed to function just fine. Despite not having enough time to see each other, everybody held up their fair share of work. Maybe my own "family" could take notes. The entirety of their home had an overwhelming, but sedating effect on me.

"Are you going to say something?" My host inquired, forcing me to make my decision then.

I took a seat on one of the sofas, buying myself some time to actually remember how to speak. All the while, I stared directly at Riku, but was silent. I watched his face grow from stern, to confused, to concerned, and lastly, lost. What exactly did I look like, I wonder? All I know is that it drew him to take the seat next to me, and I was all the more compelled to tell him. It was so simple. Not just about Roxas, but everything—bit by bit. I felt _fear_ at the risks that could come along with it, so I repressed it.

Lips rolled in, and my teeth held them in place to stop them from leaking anything. They opened to release a deep sigh that was shortly accompanied by a dry laugh as I reclined back on the couch. Surely to Riku, I must have seemed mad. God, what did he think of me?

"I don't want to know, Sora. Honestly, if it tore you up this bad, then I don't want to imagine what it'll do to me. So spare me." His voice was quiet, but deep and solid enough for me to hear. I nodded in understanding, but I felt so disappointed. Like, I "almost" told Riku of my true past. I was seconds away, only to be stopped. Some would call it fate, but I call it not making one of the gravest mistakes of my life. He could have sent me to prison if he found out.

"Alright." It was all I could say. I was used to no consolation. It shouldn't be a surprise.

"But, you can stay here for the night. And maybe I'll order take-out. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

His face changed to that of a child's. "Depends on if the mood strikes me. After all, you walked to the middle of the country, and had my ass drive all the way there—gas doesn't pay for itself, Sora."

Although it was crude, I found myself smiling at his joke. I didn't have much to say, but I was relieved to have my mind taken off my situation at home. We made our way to his room, and later on, Riku decided to grant my endless-growling stomach the gift of Chinese. Once settled in his chambers, I stripped myself to the bare minimum, as the AC was a thing not to be tampered with, even if it meant your bedroom feeling like Satan's personal sauna. I staked my territory on the sole bed, and had to cover myself, as it just felt uncomfortable being bare in front of a person. Riku explained that he often went in the nude, and I cut him off with a train of "UGH STOP!" so I didn't have to picture it.

"Feeling better now?" He had to question at my vocal response.

"No thanks to you." I sniped in my reply, then rolling over in bed.

"Admit it, you couldn't live without me."

"No, but I could live without the image you so ardently painted in my head."

"'Ardently'? Don't tell me you're a high-school flunk at day and mad-hatter scientist at night?"

_No, Riku, I'm a whole different breed entirely._

"Shut the hell up, man, and get some sleep!" I tried to act normal, but for Riku, that was bland. I totally agreed with him though.

"Can you at least spill about any new development about your 'estranged filial relationship', as you call it? I'm _dying_ for the next episode." Stuffing his mouth with Cactuar Chips, he stared dead at me, awaiting his fill of entertainment.

"I honestly think he might…be into men."

"No shit?"

"No, you dumbass, get your head out of the damn TV set and realize that this is my _brother,_ not another one of your shows on Netflix!" I threw my pillow, only to have it miss Riku entirely. I couldn't do much in this heat, let alone throw a cushion. It was then that I decided to open the window, as I felt like I was being drained of each drop of water in my body. Naturally, I had to retreat to put on my clothes then, then making the whole point of taking them off pointless. Riku protested, but I threatened to tell Roxas of his assumption to keep him silent.

"Gee, someone's touchy." A quiet hiss from the silver-maned teen did nothing to stop me from opening the window full-blast. The impact of the winter air hitting me was what I felt when I heard Riku's words. I said more or less the same to Roxas, and it just shut me up.

It seemed that words would always win the fight against me, so I caved. Sitting up, I shrugged to Riku, motioning him to come closer, like he was a child during 'Storytime'. "I'll tell you about what happened with me and Rox, but you also need to help me out, man."

"Sure, Sora. Is that what got you tore up earlier?"

"Uh…yeah, yeah."

"I know I said I didn't want to hear it, but let's hear it." He made himself comfortable in the eggshell-cushion across from me. I was worried that he would only think of the matters as trivial, and that I made a big deal out of everything, but something in me just _sensed_ that nothing was right at all about what Roxas was doing.

"I need you to sniff out a man named Saïx. He and whoever he associates with. Because Roxas is getting involved and I know it."

"Y'know, you really sound like a parent. A parent that's too on edge and needs to take some time off."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that maybe you've been thinking about this whole Roxas deal too long, Sora. You're letting it get to you and take up every little space in your mind. Tell me, did you two have a fight before you left?"

"Yeah, so?"

"And what brought it on?"

"I wanted a Coke."

"What?"

"Look, Riku," I had to slow down my heart, because he was right—I _was_ letting this get to me. "While I appreciate your counseling, it won't do me as much help as you finding this guy. Now, I _know_ you know people. Everyone knows you."

A much satisfied look came on his face. "Who wouldn't want to meet all this charisma and devilish smile?"

"So naturally, you're my best bet. As well as any "deals" Roxas has been making with them."

"Them?"

"Anyone. Male. Adult."

"I'm a part-time informant, not a database. You want info, you gotta specify who your target is. Now I can look into this "Saïx" dude, but you gotta give me a description of what he looks like."

"Easy. Blue hair—and I mean like, electric blue—that looks like his haircut was never finished. Uh…oh, he has this weird little cross smack dab in the middle of his face—like a scar or something. And these freaky beady little gold eyes. Also, I think he cosplays, because he had these bizarre pointy-"

"I know exactly who you're talking about."

This time, Riku lost all humor in his face. Eyes downcast, I read him trying to pick-and-choose which words would be most suiting to break the news to me. Whatever it was, I came up with various theories in my mind of whatever kind of danger he posed—and it made me all the more aware. I was ignorant of this man's identity, but Riku was not. Roxas wasn't. Who else knew him?

"That man, "Saïx", as apparently some call him, is some bad news, and you have every right to be wary of him. _But_ as a friend, I'm warning you not to get involved with him, because I have seen and heard some of the things his group can do, and it's not pretty-"

"It doesn't matter if it's shit-ugly; if Roxas is involved-"

"Then it might be too late."

"No, it's not." I refused to believe his words. "Don't you dare say that to me."

Riku backed off, but his pity for me was filling up the entire room with its scent. He busied himself with his cell, which had been constantly going off the entire time I was there. All the more of an excuse for him not to say that my brother's too far gone.

"Don't say that to me when I know he hasn't made a commitment to the group yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I overheard him speaking to someone on the phone about some 'deal'. I know the meeting place and time too."

"Well shit, Sora, maybe you can stop him then."

"Do I really have a choice?"

"You've always done as you pleased, so my guess is nah, not really. I'll help you out any way I can." A double-pat on my left bicep. A manly gesture among friends and kin, but to me, it was a symbol of promise that Riku wouldn't leave me alone on this. He had every right to abandon me, but he didn't. I could trust him.

_Right?_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Hey all! Silas here. Now, wow, has this story been overdue for an update or what? Fortunately, I am planning to update this puppy (along with two other fics on this account) every **other Tuesday!** So, please leave any feedback on stuff you want to see in the next chapter! I know Sora's behavior is quite unusual for his bubbly, plunky, and overall get-go persona, but don't you worry, there's a reason why I made him this way! To be continued!_
> 
> _-S._


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